Namaste

So the literal translation of this greeting is different with each language but they are all pretty much saying the same thing. In Sanskrit, the word ‘namah’ means bow, ‘as’ means I  and ‘te’ means you, translating into “I bow to you.” Regardless of  language, the word simply invokes a sense of sharing a spiritual connection and creates a sense and feeling of oneness and balance.

And it is this sense of oneness and balance I’ve been seeking and seem to have found recently.

I’ve been going to Vinyasa Yoga classes for the past 10 days for most of those days and the practice has helped me calm my mind, challenge my body and keep me sane.

Autumn is approaching and while it’s my second favourite season after summer, it also now carries a whole host of memories of autumn 2015. Not just memories but the realisation that I’m due to have my first ever scan since last October. In fact, the scan (mammogram) is not due until late October but I’ve decided to bring things forward as I just want to know and move forward. When I last saw my breast surgeon, she said we would do a mammogram and MRI in the autumn. So I booked an appointment to see her next Thursday, 29th September. Why wait until the anniversary in October?

Since early September I’ve been panicked – to say the least – about this scan approaching. It’s a funny things with cancer in that you can look and feel so well but just don’t know what lies beneath. I have no symptoms whatsoever and from doing self-examination, I think my other side is the same as it always was. Yet, there has been this voice in my head that says: what if it’s back, what if they find something, how will you cope? Will you cope? What will the prognosis be? It was during the second week of September that I found myself in a spiral about this and while I was spinning progressively downwards I caught up with a friend who mentioned Yoga to me.

I tried Yoga over the years but always insisted that it ‘wasn’t for me’. With my mind spinning with anxiety, I decided to give it one more go and joined a Vinyasa yoga class in North London. Vinyasa is based on coordination movement with breath to flow from one pose to the next. It’s tough, I won’t lie. I barely managed to hold certain postures in the first class, never mind breathing at the right times. However, I did manage to focus most of the 1.5 hour class on my breath and this in itself did wonders. I walked away feeling calm and at peace. And since that day around 10 days ago, Yoga has become a central part of my day-to-day planning. I even caught myself scheduling meetings around yoga classes.

The more I explore yoga and the more classes I attend, the calmer I feel. I like the fact that the sessions include meditations and I now try and make Yoga part of my everyday routine. Who would have thought?! It’s physically straining and I can feel my body hurting in places I haven’t felt before but I’m feeling stronger in my body and mentally more focused on stillness, on quiet time.

I think I’m hooked! Long may it continue…!

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2 thoughts on “Namaste

  1. I So need to start yoga. Mostly walking like a fiend. Meditation on again off again…. Best wishes on the scan – I just had my super anxiety pre scan week all clear yay! May it be so for you as well.
    Xo iris

    Liked by 1 person

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